Part I - The Struggle

I know now that everything in my life is different. From the time I get up in the morning to when I go to bed at night, it is not all about me. Everything revolves around two small children, whom have taken over my existence. I look at them every day feeling so lucky and proud to have them in my life. I would never complain that I am a mother because I have never wanted to be anything more. However, I do feel sometimes that I do not recognize myself anymore. I was accustomed to my routine of working out and keeping myself healthy. I took pride in the fact that I was very fit. Everything made sense to me. I was going to pursue my life dream of being a fitness trainer and share with others my passion for fitness. How could it have all changed? How did my life take such a turn?
I envy those mothers who have 4+ children and seem to have it all together. I can barely manage my life with two! I struggle with the concept of not being able to take proper care of myself. Some may say it is a selfish way to think. But why shouldn't I feel more inclined to do more things for myself? If it makes me fulfilled and happy, would that not be better for the family? That is something that I am struggling with every day. Trying to find that time for myself. Time to workout and do the things make me feel whole. Indeed my family are the most important people in my life. However, I need to put myself on that list as well.